A little background to where I am now

Hello there.
Today I sent some more resumés, and got three resposes. Monday I'll try to get to them in order to be interviewed for some positions.
In my business idea front, ideas still roam free in my mind but nothing seems to settle down. I read joelonsoftware.com articles and foruns and nothing added to ease the ideas.

I went to the business page of a ex-friend of mine, who managed to stole not only my idea, some clients and my product, only making it all web-based. It sucks to be me. But he was not the only responsible for the downfall of my previous endeavour. I am, because I lost track of what I was doing, always fixing some bugs that shouldn't exist in the first place. Moved in wrong directions, was afraid of losing clients, afraid of getting new clients, trying to do all work myself, meanwhile money was not getting in, my girlfriend went berserk and we split, and I lost track of everything.
Eventually I went broke, no girl, no business, losing clients day after day, alone at home (my workplace) and a tremendous sense of failure.

In the last year or so, starting around July 06 I closed my business only maintaining tech support to clients, went after a job 80 miles from home, met this girl and started living by myself for the first time in 27 years (yeah, I know).

I've been to two jobs one from August to December, and the other from January until 30th March 07. The first one I quit because I got the second one (which was better) but in the second job was a really difficult to sell product, the company was objectives-based and I only managed to sell 25% of estabilished objectives and they sent me out. Yes I did long hours, in my car, by my gas, did face-to-face, mail-targeted approaches, leave biz cards on everyplace, returned phone calls and emails, but no one came to me and buy.
I wasn't the only one tough, because my team "mates" (I put quotes because everyone seemed to hate everyone else there, really really intrigue-esque way of working) also didn't accomplish the objectives, only scratching them due to months-old follow-ups.
It was a nice income, I was looking forward to be financially debtless in April, but the resignation letter they sent me broke everything up.
Now I have to leave the house where I was living and return to my parent's house, it's a GREAT GREAT sense of defeat for me. I'm leaving because I cannot support it (no money) and what am I doing 80 miles from home with no job, right?

Meanwhile, I got a ticket for speeding, broke a wheel axis on my car having to repair it and but two front tires (the old tire had a big bulge heheh), my car was broken into three times in 7 months living away (yes, nothing was taken, not even CDs), a rear glass was broken the first time it was break into, and in January I got the car revision which took more money from me once again. Plus the food for the month, the car loan, the 2 cellphones bill to pay (my own for work too), 3G internet (I have to give tech support remember?), the house rented, gas money (and I was on my car working), and my end of the month was, really, like the 4th day after getting the paycheck. It's not been easy at all.

Lately my bank, with whom I've been working for the last 5 years since I started my business, refuses to give me new checks, and no reason for that. I've been with them on the phone, on person and the most they say is that my account doesn't add up to a percentage of them to be able to get new checks. I would quit there and open elsewhere an account, but since I got virtually NO MONEY deposited it would be pointless to move. Move 10 euros? What a tragedy for them, right?

Well I'm off for today. Tomorrow I got a wedding of my girl's friend, and I got to attend. I am a bit uneasy because I suspect that "friend" that stole so much from me will be there, in that case I must be all smily and false and I hate doing that. But I can't also confront him for being successful where I failed. Jealousy is a bad bad feeling and I must be superior to that.

Hope I didn't bore you too much. I guess not, nobody reads this blog right? Bye.